Are dating apps causing the death of romance?

The sudden rise of dating apps has led to them monopolising the market, but have they left any room for romance?

We’ve all been there; downloading Hinge or Tinder on the search for ‘the one’, realistically knowing we will never find that here. The endless scrolling, swiping, waiting for a message back or a spark. 

For many, this method seems to be successful, with 70 percent of those who met people on a dating app having it lead to a long-term relationship. But does this form of meeting a romantic partner detract from the naturality we have been taught relationships should have? Are these dating apps, even with a proven success rate, causing the death of romance in today’s society, and is finding love in real life even possible anymore?

A large issue with dating apps is their very premise, people enter seeking a relationship or intimacy, and so when immediately liking or matching with another its assumed that they both desire similar things. Whilst this is the entire setup of these sites, it can often lead to conversations and dates (if it gets that far) feeling forced as the individuals have met through a mutual attraction. A study led by a Professor at the University of Victoria discovered that, in the vast majority (two-thirds) of relationships, the partners began as friends. This seems to be favoured over starting a relationship via dating apps. Whilst this can lead to its’ own issues, including being ‘friend zoned’ as it were, it is also one of the most natural and comfortable ways of meeting your partner, as you get to know each other as mutuals, with no strings attached.

In this age where technology runs our lives, we have to ask ourselves if we really want it controlling our dating lives too. Some seem to think it may be helpful, including Chief executive of Match Group, who stated ‘AI is going to transform the dating experience. It’s going to enable us to make all aspects of the online dating journey better.’ But is this actually true? Bold claims like these may sound reliable, but AI cannot target what has to be at the heart of every relationship- a genuine connection. Dating apps can only take us so far, and, according to a survey by Forbes in 2024, 78% of users of dating apps felt ‘emotionally, mentally or physically exhausted’. It can often feel like an endless cycle that leads nowhere, excluding middle aged men liking your profile. 

Dating apps have no filter, creating an unjustly dangerous environment for its users.

This leads me onto a problem that faces many on these platforms, especially women. Whilst harassment is unfortunately common in everyday life, the abuse faced on dating apps is prolific. According to BBC statistics, for female users between the ages of 18 and 34, over half of participants said they’d received unwarranted sexual messages or images. One user, Shani Silver stated ‘I was often asked for a sexual favour before someone said hello, before someone told me their

actual name.’ Dating apps are breeding grounds for sexual harassment, often with no consequence for the perpetrator. With dating apps, there seems too often be an assumption that, because you signed up for a relationship, you also opened the door for sexual suggestions from any match. This suggests users are ‘asking for it’, an excuse many like to use to justify harassment. Dating apps have no filter, creating an unjustly dangerous environment for its users.

It is not beyond my ability to say that dating will never truly be the same after the

introduction of these apps. My parents often talk about how you used to find people in real life, and whilst this is still the case for many couples, the hope is faltering for the rest of us. It is fun to have faith in fate and soulmates, but this is merely a fantasy which will not be solved in the confines of Hinge. With technology controlling so many aspects of our life, is it necessary for it to influence romance too? Maybe relationships weren’t meant to be formed through platforms that force romance and awkward conversation, maybe romance and love are emotions too natural and human to be targeted by something so artificial as AI. Perhaps the connections we make in real life are deeper than any than could be formed online. Or maybe I’m just a pessimist and dating apps bring love to millions. Either way, I do believe the best relationships I have witnessed are those that happen naturally. 

However, there is comfort in knowing that those on dating apps are all just people looking for that connection we all desire. Because the underlying truth of these platforms is that we want to love, and to be loved, and this is a human need that I believe technology can never remove.

Published 17 February 2025